how to ask him what his intentions are
Few things are more frustrating than the period in a relationship when one person is prepare to make things official and the other person is sending mixed letters. How do you lot residuum your competing desires to play it cool and figure out whether you have a future together? Hither are some tips for figuring out what his intentions are.
Merely enquire!
In that location is no shame in being direct, and information technology's probably the quickest way to get an answer. Asking a guy where he sees the human relationship going has the added benefit of showing him that you're not a pushover. You are advocating for your needs, not waiting for him to decide it's convenient.
Don't qualify it.
Qualification is an like shooting fish in a barrel trap to fall into because nosotros all want to exist liked (especially past the person we're into) and nosotros don't want to force per unit area people. Merely asking a guy well-nigh his intentions is not a big ask. You lot deserve to know where he sees things going, and you should non experience obligated to preface the question with, "I detest to enquire this", or "If y'all're non ready to talk near this it'southward okay". Don't devalue yourself. It's a reasonable and necessary question.
Consider how you would respond the question if the tables were turned.
Fear of rejection may have you drastic to know how he feels almost yous, merely how practice yous experience about him? If he says he wants to make things official, would you want to likewise? If you don't know what you want, don't be too hard on him if he isn't quite sure all the same either.
Don't leave it too long.
The longer you leave it, the more awkward it will exist. You don't desire to find out six months into a relationship that you both accept wildly different views of where you're headed. The sooner you inquire, the less uncomfortable the conversation will be and the more likely yous are to go along talking about your trajectory if anything changes. Create an expectation of openness early on and you'll have a much smoother relationship going forward.
Tell him whatyour intentions are.
What y'all're wanting is greater transparency, so why not be transparent yourself? After all, it volition be easier for him to be open and vulnerable if you're being open and vulnerable as well. Tell him how y'all feel and where you encounter the relationship going. Then see how he responds. If he continues to be evasive and non-committal, that is an answer in itself.
Avert request in a roundabout way.
Y'all could waste years of your life trying to get a straight reply from an indirect question. Questions such equally "Exercise yous want children?" or "When do y'all meet yourself getting married?" will likely pb to unsatisfying answers. Because while you may desire to know his responses to such questions, what y'all're really trying to effigy out is how he feels near your relationship. General questions about union and children could lead to unspoken listen games and misunderstandings and ultimately, a great deal of wasted time.
Fifty-fifty if y'all become a straightforward answer, take some time to observe his actions
. We all know that deportment speak volumes while words tin can hateful very little. If he tells y'all that he wants to be serious but continues to act as if he'due south single, trust your instincts. No chat tin can compensate for conflicting actions. If he'southward serious about you, he will show it.
Don't care for information technology like a big deal.
The danger of waiting a while before request is that you lot build the chat up in your mind to be a huge, pivotal moment in the relationship. When y'all finally do enquire, the mindset yous're in tin translate into an unnecessarily intense atmosphere. It'south perfectly reasonable to define the relationship and asking casually but directly will reduce whatsoever awkwardness that you may be worried about.
Do it in person.
If you're nervous about asking him most his intentions, y'all may be contemplating doing information technology over text. But this is not the time for texting. Yous demand to exist face up to confront in order to pick up on all his non-verbal queues. Does he avoid eye contact? Does he change the subject? It'due south much harder to gauge a person's reactions over text, and much easier to be brushed off. And if you exercise want a serious relationship, you lot need to know that you tin take difficult conversations with him, considering they are inevitable in whatsoever partnership.
If y'all have to ask, it could be a red flag.
If you've been together for a while and still don't know how he feels about you, it may exist more appropriate to ask why you lot don't feel secure in the human relationship than where he sees it going. If he'due south inconsistent or makes y'all feel like an afterthought, forget about defining the relationship and focus on finding someone who leaves you in no doubt equally to how he feels about you.
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Source: https://www.bolde.com/how-to-ask-a-guy-what-his-intentions-are/
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